“I am hardly ever depressed by a movie and Jane Powell is a very nice looking girl, but the despair of it is enough to leave you gone in the stomach” (part 2, ch 2, pg 74)
I chose this passage because it was very interesting to me how Binx’s form of escapism is starting to not help. In the beginning of the novel, Binx tells the reader how he can enjoy every movie, no matter how bad it is, but this is an instance where Binx feels awful about this movie. This quote shows how Binx is such an unreliable narrator because he doesn’t know himself yet and we as the reader are discovering his identity with him. Binx is unreliable throughout a majority of the novel because he tries to convince not only us, but himself, that he is okay with living his standard, boring life.
This also depicts to me that there is only so much that movies can do for Binx and this provokes him more and more to continue with his search for self identity. When movies, or any form of media for that matter, start to depict something close to real life it can make one reflect and feel as if their life is pointless and do the complete opposite of what people seek in media. I believe that this is why I had such a hard time getting through this book because it reminds me too much of real life and makes me reflect on my life which I don’t want. Whenever I read or watch something, like Binx, I look to escape my own reality and get involved in someone else’s problems but with Binx, I feel like I can relate to him a bit because of how ordinary his life is. This book makes me reflect on my own life which stresses me out and makes me realize that I am truly not living my life to the full extent.
I like that you point out Binx is an unreliable narrator. He doesn’t seem to realize that he is unreliable or that his words can be contradictory. He gets so caught up and lost in his search that he becomes almost confused, and he no longer believes everything he used to believe.
I also found him relatable in a sense. College seems to be the time that we are expected to figure out ourselves and our purpose, but that is a lot to accomplish in four years. Seeing Binx, a fully grown adult, struggle to find meaning in life does not offer much hope to those of us who are still searching. I like to believe that living life to the full extent can simply mean enjoying each day as it comes. This takes off some of the pressure to find great meaning and accomplish great things. For much of the book, Binx doesn’t seem to stop and appreciate what he has, because he writes it off as “everydayness”. However, any amount of joy you can find, whether it is in a good cup of coffee or a fantastic existential realization, is what I believe makes life meaningful.