I really enjoyed this book as a whole but in her letter to her friend from February 1911 really stuck out to me. This poem really resonated with me as Ophelia sort of explains herself to her friend. She explains how different clients utilize her time and how she has moments of reflection as remembrance as to the beauty of her own body. Ophelia also seems to suggest a memory of violation? Talking about how a man was sneering, calling her womanish as he leans over her, pinching her breasts. I cannot tell if she is recalling this to justify her profession or to make conversation with her friend, but I do find it interesting that she would choose this time to recount the memory. The final line, “I am then nothing but the light I see behind my shut eyelids.” shows her distancing herself from not only herself but also from her memories of self discovery at 13.
Bellocq’s Ophelia February 1911
Sep 5th, 2023 by Charlotte
The few lines about the man at the farm store stood out to me as well. I believe they were included because they represent Ophelia becoming a woman, therefore becoming an object of male desire.
The exact lines are “the man leaning over me, pinching / the tiny buds of my new breasts, / sneering, calling me womanish / as I stare at the lines in the floor”. At the age of thirteen, she has just entered puberty. Her “new” breasts, as she calls them, are a symbol of her leaving girlhood to enter womanhood. This strange man at the store now recognizes her as a new, possibly sexual, object. She no longer escapes men’s notice as she did as a child. They are paying attention to her now because she is becoming something they can exploit.
I believe Ophelia included this in her letter because it was likely one of the first times she was viewed in such a manner. It is clearly a strong memory for her, despite being such a short interaction. I think she finds it relevant to the rest of the letter because it was a defining moment of the ending of her youth.